Sermons
“A Father's Exhortation”
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I'd like to open your Bibles to Proverbs 3.
Read the 1st 12 verses.
I'll be reading from the new American Standard version.
My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments.
For length of days and years of life and peace, they will add to you.
Do not let kindness and truth leave you.
Bind them around your neck.
Write them on the tablet of your heart, so you will find favor and good repute in the side of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes.
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones.
Honor the Lord from your wealth and from the first of all your produce, so your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with new wine.
My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord or loathe his proof.
For whom the Lord loves, he reproves, even as a Father corrects the Son in whom he delights.
Good evening.
I'd like to echo Travis's welcome to any visitors we may have and uh it's your first time with us, go ahead and grab one of these, you know, snap a picture of that QR code or if you're old school like I tend to be about some things, go ahead and fill that out and hand that to one of the deacons.
We'd love to have a record that you were here.
Um, I'll also go ahead and apologize for the, uh, I'll say 3 string preaching that you're about to endure.
Um, back in January of this year.
I took Carter with me on an afternoon hunting trip.
This was his first time to go with me and sit in a tree stand for hours on end.
Before we left, I made sure we had all of the essentials, had the rifle, had the right ammunition, gloves, binoculars.
Several layers of warm clothing.
It was January tends to get a little cold.
Uh, a bag of beef jerky.
If you want to argue with me about whether or not that's essential for a hunting trip, talk to me after this.
It was cold.
It was fairly windy.
And it was one of those afternoons where I quickly realized that probably not gonna see any deer.
And most folks would say that that's probably not the mark of a successful hunting trip.
But it was OK. Even though I never chambered around.
Carter did not know this at the time.
But I would say this is the most successful hunting trip that I feel like I've ever been on.
What Carter didn't know is I had ulterior motives for bringing him along on this particular trip.
When I listed all of the essentials, I'd also taken a long one more for this particular trip.
My Bible.
So after we got comfortable in the stand, being 12 ft off the ground does take some getting used to.
And had broken into some beef jerky.
We spent the first half Or the first of what I hoped and planned to be several long.
And deep conversations looking over God's word.
Talking about his plan for a family.
And the reasons that men and women have different physical And anatomical differences.
Probably not where you thought this intro was gonna go, huh?
Well, I will go ahead and give you some assurance because I see a few surprise looks out there.
I'm not gonna go into details about what we talked about.
That's not the point.
But some of you may also be wondering why would you go ahead and introduce this topic to a 9 year old.
Why would you go ahead and bring something so heavy and weighty and serious into the life of such a young child?
Well, part of the reason I did that is because I like being in the woods.
And if you've ever been out early morning and I'm talking about 14 4:30.
Around the time you would usually go out for a morning hunting trip if you're going after deer.
I love the fact that if I'm away from all sources of artificial light, I can look up and see every star in the sky.
I love the fact that I can listen to God's creation waking up around me.
And in the afternoons when the beautiful fall colors have already started to take place and even in the even in the winter, you can still see the beauty of God's creation.
The reason I chose then is because I cannot think of a better time or place.
To open up God's word than when we are surrounded by the beauty of all that He has created.
I guess the part of the why is also because we live in a world that is sadly sinking deeper.
And darker the brokenness.
And the things that I had no concept of in middle school are now being thrust into the lives of children.
That we've been entrusted to guard and protect.
And while I know that part of this is going to make everyone feel a little uncomfortable, I feel that it's necessary to illustrate the point I'm trying to make.
So I'd like to share a few statistics to that end.
I recently read an article that was published in April of this year by the Institute for Family Studies.
And they shared this statistic.
I'm quoting from that article now.
With technology and the and the internet as crucial and necessary part of life.
Pornography has never been more easily accessible to our children.
Of those surveyed in this particular study, 93% of boys and 63% of girls report being exposed to internet pornography before the age of 18, with the average age of first exposure being 12 years old.
Today's children are growing up in a sexualized cultural environment.
And as adolescents mature, it is natural that they're going to search for information that they do not know.
This includes searching for information about dating and sexual relationships which can often lead to pornography.
A second study that I came across that was conducted in 2022.
By Common Sense Media reported that out of over 1300 teenagers surveyed between the ages of 13 and 63.
54% answered that they had first been exposed.
Before age 13.
With the age of 12 again being the average to first view this kind of content.
I guess the most shocking statistic of all from this same study.
Was that 15% of that same group of 1300 teenagers so that they were 10 years old or younger when they were first exposed.
10 years old.
My oldest son is 9.
I knew this was gonna be tough to get through, so bear with me.
I'm sorry.
The following quote is taken from the findings of the same study.
The quote here says nearly 1/23 of all teens reported that they had been exposed to pornography during their school day.
Among all teens surveys, 20 surveyed, 23% had seen content in person at school and 12% while attending school remotely.
Of those who had watched in school, 226% attended a private or religious school.
214% of traditional public school, 226% of charter or magnet school, and 214% were homeschooled.
I want to make it perfectly clear that I understand and value the the merits of a private Bible focused education.
But that does not mean that you have completely insulated your kids from this kind of exposure dearly, merely due to the nature of their environment.
I also realize.
That a certain level of emotional maturity is necessary to have these kinds of conversations with our kids.
And that every child matures at a different rate.
However, if you are waiting to engage with your children in these areas until they are entering middle school and on the verge of adolescence, I will tell you with a very high degree of confidence that you were behind the curve.
However carefully we try to shield our children from the true nature of the world that we live in.
It is an inevitability that they will see this for themselves far sooner than we would ever like for them to.
So what happens?
What happens when they are exposed to something that they're not expecting before we've talked to them about the dangers of what is out there.
What happens When they encounter something before we have equipped them with knowledge about God's plan versus the will of mankind.
What happens When they encounter something before we have told them and let them know that they can confide in us.
When the world's malice does creep into their lives.
But what typically happens is they rely on the information that they can obtain by other sources.
They rely on the incomplete and often twisted education that their secular peers or the internet is all too happy to provide.
And that reliance can come with a lifetime of consequences.
So what do we do?
What do we do about that?
What does God expect from parents, especially fathers in the digital age that we live in?
I'd like you to start with me by turning to Ephesians chapter 226.
And read along with me.
It's a passage that we may be familiar with.
We read often.
Ephesians chapter 26 beginning in verse 33 says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord.
For this is right.
Honor your father and mother.
This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and in the instruction of the Lord.
Our children need to be instructed to obey their parents.
But I think this passage among several others makes it absolutely clear that parents expecting that kind of obedience need to first fulfill their obligations to instruct on what the idea of in the Lord means.
All too often our society substitutes the idea of discipline with the idea of an immediate consequence or punishment.
But the Greek word for discipline in this text, I'm going to butcher this, but here we go high duo, which carries the idea of instruction and training first before any correction or consequence.
Otherwise, any such consequence or punishment is unjust.
What else do we know from what the Bible teaches us?
Turn with me again to Deuteronomy chapter 23.
Deuteronomy chapter 21.
I'll be picking up in verse 22 sorry, verse 6.
Moses is speaking to the nation of Israel, and he says, here, here, oh Israel.
The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontless between your eyes.
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
While these words were spoken directly to God's people long ago, His expectation is still not only that we love Him with all that we are, but that we are taking every opportunity to teach our children and to remind ourselves of who He is and what He has done for us and how he expects us to go about our lives.
I really appreciated getting to hear Caleb speak when he was with us a few weeks ago, but a question he asked during that sermon really stuck with me.
If you are not speaking to your children about God in your home, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
We can also scour the words of Solomon and find proverb after proverb after proverb that it emphasized the importance of a father taking a leadership role and instructing his son in what it means to be wise and what it is to seek understanding in righteousness, and I would like to ask that you turn with me to the first chapter of Proverbs.
We'll be going between chapter 1 and chapter 2 here in just a few moments.
Proverbs chapter one.
Beginning in verse 8.
We can read Solomon's entreaty.
He writes, Here, my son, your father's instruction and forsake not your mother's teaching.
For they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.
If they say, come with us, let us lie and wait for blood.
Let us ambush the innocent without reason, like she'll let us swallow them alive and ho like those who go down to the pit.
We shall find all precious goods.
We shall fill our houses with plunder.
Throw in your lot among us, and we will all have one purse.
My son, do not walk in the way with them.
Hold back your foot from their paths.
For their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood.
For in vain a net is spread in the sight of any bird, but these men lie in wait for their own blood.
They set an ambush for their own lives.
Such are the ways of one who is greedy for unjust gain.
It takes away the life of its possessors.
He continues writing in chapter 2, my son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom.
And inclining your heart to understanding.
Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding.
You seek it like silver.
And search for it as hidden tre as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord.
And find the knowledge of God.
And in the passage that Brian read to us just a few moments ago from Proverbs chapter 3, we see that a loving father admonishes his son.
To trust God, absolutely.
Not rely on the wisdom of men.
We also see that God's discipline and instruction are directed towards those whom he loves.
And then a father should do the same toward the son whom he delights.
The same ideas are repeated in 13 Thessalonians chapter 2 in Hebrews 12.
Probably one of my favorite proverbs chapter 14.
Verse 26.
Proverbs chapter 14 and verse 26, and I guess I should have said earlier, all the quotes that I'm reading from tonight are taken from the ESV.
Proverbs 14:26.
It says in the fear of the Lord, one has strong confidence.
His children will have a refuge.
Our faith and reverence for God can and should provide a refuge for them in this world.
Fathers, we need to start with what God's will is for them as seen in Scripture.
And not limit our instruction to a list of things not to do.
We need to be able to instruct them as to what an appropriate and godly mental and emotional response to seeing a physically beautiful woman looks like.
We have to be willing to teach.
We often sing a wine.
From the song Soldiers of Christ arise that reads Leave no unguarded place.
No weakness of the soul.
Take every virtue.
Every grace and fortify the whole.
Drawing from the idea of being equipped to withstand what the devil will throw at us, the same idea as putting on the whole armor of God.
Paul illustrates in the latter part of Ephesians chapter 6.
Fathers, are we making sure our sons have no unguarded place?
Are we making sure they have no unprotected aspects of their faith for a fiery arrow to strike home.
would be wise.
Would we be wise to fortify every other aspect of their spiritual defenses save this one thing?
Knowing the nature of our adversary.
And his malice towards God and those who follow him.
You can be certain that Satan will not hesitate to target and exploit your sons in this way at every single opportunity.
And you can't rely on others to do this in your stead.
As much as I appreciate and value what Gary and Alan and Tim and Jim and Mike.
Bring to the table in terms of their deep knowledge and appreciation for God's word.
It's not their responsibility to teach my sons.
It's not the responsibility of our able beacons.
For many of our wonderfully gifted Bible class teachers.
And it most assuredly is not the role or responsibility.
of secular educators.
No. It's not likely going to be easy or entirely comfortable, much like a lot of what I've said today.
But that does not excuse the fact.
That as their father who knows what it is to face these kinds of temptations myself, that responsibility is mine.
I like to take a break for a second and shift gears.
Because to this point, I know I have mainly focused on the relationship between a father and son.
Because that is the relationship that I understand and far from perfected.
I was not blessed with daughters.
As many of you have been So I best relate with the father-son interaction.
However, I would like to take a few minutes to speak to all of my sisters in Christ about how you can help the men in your lives play good defense.
I imagine that many of you who have grown up in the church have probably experienced some level of frustration.
By being told that, hey, the next teenage girls class or the next devotional is gonna be on the topic of modesty.
And the next one.
And the next one And the one after that.
To the point that you probably become exhausted from hearing that word.
What I'm about to share are my thoughts thinking back to my college days.
It is simply my perspective, so I'll ask for your patience.
And your understanding while I discuss modesty.
Once more I can still remember being a 2nd-year student in Alabama thinking with a very heavy heart and a lot of shame.
That I was the only one in my group of Christian guy friends who had a problem with lust.
It was not until some time later a few of us formed a prayer group.
Meeting before church one evening.
And all of the guys in our group confessed to one another that that was an area where we all struggled.
That particular day was eye opening for me and coming to know that I was not alone in this fight.
But that's exactly where Satan wanted me to be.
Afraid, alone, and ashamed to admit that I was struggling.
That is the exact same position that Satan wants your children to be in.
Afraid to talk.
Afraid to trust.
Afraid to ask for help.
I suppose I shouldn't have found that shocking given that men are constantly bombarded by immodesty in our society.
Whether we seek it out or not.
For magazines at grocery store checkout stands, so trying to watch sports on television.
It's everywhere.
Just walking to class back then.
It seemed that I wasn't able to look anywhere on campus without seeing way too short shorts.
And little more than underwear for a top.
And you can imagine my frustration when heading to church on a Wednesday night or a Wednesday evening after a week of mostly having to stare at the ground all the way to class.
Only to find one of my friends and sisters in Christ wearing clothing that revealed way too much of herself.
To anyone who happened to look.
In a world that is forgotten how to blush, the one place I had hoped would be a refuge from the world wasn't so much a refuge after all.
I suspect that it's true that most, if not all, of the men here.
have struggled in the past or will struggle with this at some point in the future.
It is a function of how men are sexually stimulated.
And again, I, I apologize if this is an uncomfortable topic.
But again, I believe it needs to be said.
With that being the case, it's very difficult to explain to a member of the opposite sex how powerful a visual image can be for a man.
I do know enough to say that women are different in this regard, so it's almost impossible to ask for a woman to put herself in a man's shoes fully in this context.
I would like to make it absolutely clear that I am in no way excusing the responsibility of a man to keep lust out of his own heart.
James chapter one teaches us that each person is tempted.
When he is lured and enticed by his own desires, and then desire when it is conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully formed brings forth death.
So what I would argue is that a man needs to work diligently to be able to keep himself pure of thought regardless of his environment.
It is a heart condition that all men seem to struggle with from time to time, and I won't mislead anyone in thinking that married men do not struggle as much because they have the proper outlet for these kinds of thoughts.
Because if that were true, adultery would not be a problem.
However, I will say that the women in our lives can be a great aid in helping us fight this particular spiritual battle.
The assembly of the saints has to be a place of refuge for men fighting against this kind of temptation.
We are constantly having sexuality and a modesty thrust at us by society in almost every form imaginable despite the protections and the guard rails that we try to in place around us.
If we have a place of refuge from this kind of influence.
And we have a break to refocus and recharge instead of being worn down and wearied all over again by constant bombardment with no rest at all.
We're also better able to focus on glorifying God as we should when we come together.
Instead of silently fighting a mental war from our spot on the church pew.
I want to emphasize again that I am not trying to even begin to suggest that women have the bulk of the responsibility in this matter.
That is not true.
That is not what Scripture teaches.
Each man must stand and be accountable for his thoughts and actions regardless of the behavior of others.
But our sisters can help so much by just a few moments' thought standing in front of a mirror before services.
When you select clothing, As I know this is difficult to do.
Especially in today's society.
If you have even the smallest doubt that what you have on is too tight.
Too revealing, too short, too transparent, too low cut or immodest in the slightest way.
I ask you to think of your brothers in the Lord who may be fighting to be pure and having a difficult day or week with the temptation of lust.
Don't wear it.
You don't need that kind of attention.
Your physical beauty is wonderful and it's God-given.
And it's meant to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage.
But I ask you to say that aspect of who you are for that relationship only and instead display the inward beauty of a modest woman that Peter describes.
Peter 3.
And that Paul depicts in 1 Timothy chapter 2.
I ask you to think of me.
How I know that I've struggled in the past, and I ask you to think of your brothers and cries to fight this battle every single day.
You can't fight the battle for.
You can certainly remove a huge stumbling block from our path to overcoming this temptation.
I do not ask merely on my own behalf.
I ask you to continue.
As many of you already are.
To help build up the defenses of every husband and father and brother in your lives.
I'm asking you to help build up the defenses of my sons.
Fathers, my point is speaking this evening.
is to encourage each of you to find a tree stand, not mine.
It's already a little crowded, and I'm not done using it.
What I mean is find a place to remove distractions.
Open God's word and talk with your sons about God's will for them as they mature into men.
And if you find yourself doubting your abilities to do this, it's OK to ask for help.
If you feel unqualified because you are still struggling yourself and not winning the fight on your own.
Please trust that your brothers in Christ will lock shields with you rather than make you feel ashamed.
Would you all bow with me as we pray?
Almighty God, we thank you so much just for giving us another day of life.
We thank you for everything that we borrow from you.
Thank you for your word, so that we can know more about you.
Each day So that we can equip ourselves.
To honor and glorify you.
And we pray that you would watch over those of us who are parents.
That you would help us to recognize and understand that the world we live in is fallen and broken.
But that is not your plan for us.
Your plan is restoration.
And holiness.
That you would guide our thoughts as we teach our children.
About who you are.
About what your will is.
About how you would have them to grow and mature.
To be servants in your kingdom.
Give us the strength to tackle difficult conversations.
To go through Uncomfortable things with our children.
Not because it is easy, but because it's necessary.
Please give us the strength to do that.
Above all else, Father, we thank you for your son.
We thank you for his willingness to go to the cross.
So that all can be forgiven.
Despite our struggles, Help us to draw strength from each other, strength from your word.
Help us to always look to you for guidance.
We ask all this in Christ's name. Amen.
I realized that not much that I have said in the past few minutes has really been well suited to offering an invitation.
But I'll add a few things in closing.
Well, I've touched primarily on one spiritual challenge that most men face, we all have some unique spiritual challenge of our own, you know what it is?
That one thing that always seems to be a weak spot for us.
That one aspect of our character that just needs some work.
Well, No matter how many times that we have failed that particular challenge.
God's promise remains the same if we are sincere.
He promises to forgive each Christian who repents.
He promises to take away sin.
So if you are a Christian who needs to make your repentance and your confession publicly, or if you just need to ask for the prayers of the saints here, you have that opportunity now.
And if you had yet haven't yet decided to become a part of God's family, you have an opportunity to become a child of God by repenting of the sins that are in your life, by confessing Jesus as God's Son and being baptized into his death.
Whatever your need may be tonight.
Please come forward as we stand and sing to invite you.
- 2024.06.23P-FathersExhortation.mp3 (10.13 MB)
